There are things that need to be inside of us forever, there are things needed to be said out loud... Even tho this is personal, i feel like sharing it with you, maybe helping you with this or anything...
Most of the ppl know how to say something to other one, we are ready to say things before we think about it. I am one of those. Anything i think i will tell it, even i know it may cause trouble and pain. And what happens next? I get a negative answer, get hurt, fall in depression... etc...
We all want to talk, to express our thoughts, feelings, but none of us is ready to except a 'NO'. It is always better to say negative things on good way. Does it makes sense to you? Here is an example... You talk to someone, ask for something, there comes a negative answer. But instead of saying just a 'NO', you say 'Sorry, right now i can't do it' or something like that, you put a small smile on your face, and it is better.
Why is so hard to except a negative answer? People are to proud, spoiled, selfish... I don't wanna hurt anyone, but ppl are... I am one of those as well... I am 1st one of those who need to be changed. I tell things wanting everyone to except it and everything be fine, but its not. Everyone has it own will and opinion and i need to learn to except it the way it is. I mean, i can except it, but a while after it, i collapse in small sadness 'its not the way i planed, i thought it will be, i wish to be'... Tho I put others in front of me, and care so little about me, i still have problem of excepting a negative answer, even if it is said on good way.
Lay on other, not you? It is a way good decision to be made. If God says 'NO' it always end up good. How come? Don't you know that every storm has its end? After every rain comes sun? After every desert, there is water to fill up your thirst? Yes it is. There are 2 kinds of ppl, those who say to God :'Let it be as you want', and those whom God tell:'Let it be as you want'. IF God says 'yes' on the thing you want you will get hurt, you will suffer and then ask why didn't God protect you from failure. Than there is a way when God says 'no' and give you something better instead of the thing you asked for, he gives you that rain in hot desert... But you get mad on him telling why you didn't give me that and this, you know how much i want it and how much i prayed for it etc... Also, there is a way when God says 'wait'. In that case he gives you the best. He uses you to form you the way you will except the gift in the best way. He will let a lot of things happen to you, even pain sometimes, just to learn to lay on Him, depend on Him. Than you will be ready to take the best blessing in your life. I need to be formed, I need pain, I need change 1st. Day by day I keep praying to be used by Him.
I have an issue. I need to feel that i belong, that i am loved by someone. I search my own after love, relationship. WRONG, i know it, but still i can't stop. I just want to feel it on my skin... you know... everyone does... But i need to learn to except all those direct 'no'-s that i get every time, i need to learn not to suffer, i need to learn to wait. I am glad that God didn't let me do stupid things, and told just once 'yes' on my stupidity... I am glad that he keeps saying 'no' to me, but i need to learn to except it.
I know if i wait he will give me a perfect person to love and be loved from. I know he will give me one beyond my expectations and wantthings, he will give me the most perfect person for me, my needs, he will give me someone i will love till eternity, each day more and more, even when i grow old, and cant see the one, feel him, he will still love me because who i am, not how i look, and i will love him for the same things... i know there is a perfect love waiting one me somewhere. Someone who will bless my life, i will feel safe, protected, that i belong, and that i am so loved. I need to learn to wait on Gods will, on the person he wants to give me. Tho i want it right now, right here, i know God has its own time.
its so strange to see that i have written 3 different blogs about relationships, and 3 different perspectives and things to be learned to do... ( http://startofsomethingnew777.blogspot.com/2009/09/perfect-relationship.html on the bottom of that blog 'perfect relationship' you will find a link to the 1st blog about relationships. weird i know.)I wonder how many more will be written till i learn my lesson and get my gift, my loved one... My love grows each day, waiting to explode and be showed to one. And i am glad i live a multiple love each day. Love for God, love for human, love for things God gave me.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no mater what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzNyvnC2-1k
