I had a dream
When I got accepted in this school I knew God wants me here. I knew He had such a big plan for me here. I couldn’t wait to see what will happen. I knew that the situation in my town was bad and I knew I had some friends here and many churches to go and some organizations to join in and I was so delighted to start all of it.
First day of my arrival was ok, I cleaned everything, moved in and cleaned it again. Later on I read a whole book. I went to bed early but I couldn’t fall asleep coz of the noises outside. Finally I did and woke up early next morning. I went to service at Baptist church and I was so surprised that only my relatives and one person came to great me. I knew most of them for years but none noticed me. After bored afternoon I met with Kerstin, girl from Germany and went to HZ church with her. I have never been there before for service and I never saw those people before but few of them came to greet me. I felt a bit better, but still disappointed in Novi Sad. Lectures came next day and I met few of my colleagues. Few of girls are very fun so I stick up with them since then. The whole week and still do, I feel a bit lonely. From all that youth in Novi Sad I find as I can’t rely on none of them, like really rely on someone. Maybe I expected too much for the beginning, like my life would change from day to day, but I see as youth here and most of the churches aren’t in the best position like my church back home. I wish I could visit my home more often. I miss my parents bouncing on my head and all my pets and security of my room. I was lonely there as well, but at least I knew I am safe.
Life here is faster than back home. I get up, read, do some things around and I get going. I eat in menza and it takes a bit of my time. My apartment is nice and on good position. I have the bus stations for city buses close, and if I’m walking, it takes me around 10-15minutes to 3 churches and same to my school and around 20-25minutes to center of the town. Plus, I have nice view from my windows :D .
When my roommate arrived, she didn’t know I was here, so it took us a bit of time to get used to each other. Now we are talking normally when we see each other but usually we write notes. She works a lot and my schedule is a bit strange so we barely see each other. Almost each evening I take a walk somewhere, alone, or I try to find someone to go with me. I just can’t stand to be alone in my apartment. I don’t have internet and I don’t plan on getting it in, it cost a lot. The lonely silence of my room at evening and night scares me, so I try to avoid it as much as I can. My mom dislikes it, she calls me every evening to see how am I doing. She thinks it is a waste of time and I should be studying, that’s why I’m here. But, at the end of the day I’m not capable of studying, maybe just to do some reading and being lonely here just doesn’t feel good.
In 1st week of being here in Novi Sad I got a job, to shoot for VOX magazine. And no, I won’t get payment for it, again. I joined Focus organization, I plan on attending EUS meetings, I will try to go to Timsus youth meetings once a week and my cousin leads a girl Bible study group at Baptist church once a week. Also I met few boys who study theology here so I want to try to meet them more and spend some time with them. Maybe I’m just trying to keep myself busy as much as I can so I could not think much and have less free time. Still, in all of this, I miss few of my friends back home. And I miss talking to my abroad friends on internet. I hate how much impact facebook has in our lives. I feel so cut off the happenings and some of my friends without visiting their page. But now as I don’t use it, I can see that maybe none of them were my friends actually. I see how just few of them are messaging me on my phone to see how am I doing and to tell me what happened with them. This first month my phone bill will be big as I tried to find myself up in this, where to go and how to do some things here, but I know next month will be better coz I got used to this running a bit.
And there you go. One month passed and there is no change in my life. I got used to this city, I am lonelier than ever, I miss things that I never thought I will. There is one thing I learnt for sure: to sing praises while I’m walking in city, more to pray and to read again each morning.
