Yes, I am greater than that. For I am made unique, for one man, for joy not sorrow. I am made to serve. I am made to obey and listen. I am made to respect and to be pure. I am made gentle and with quiet spirit. I am made to be a partner not a leader. (I Peter 3)
Girls, let me ask you, what happened to us? We used to be humble, gentle, caring, serving woman, never complaining about doing things for others, putting us aside? Why do we try to rule above man, above leaders, above stronger sex? Why we try to become something that we can not be? We are not created to be that way. In that rush we just try things and do things we shouldn't do. Let me tell you this: turn back to your roots.
I was watching tonight the stars and just been quiet and thoughts were just rushing into my head. My last few blogs about relationships are the proof what was I or what I am still. Again, I tell you I'll try to be different. I looked inside me and I saw how much of my heart is missing because I refused to wait. Tear slide on my cheek when I realized: if I keep doing this, I wont be able to give anything to my future husband, no pure love, no pure me, no true care and companionship. I will be stuck in my past, regretting things, wishing some things back that were better than now. Each time when I even hug my future husband will bring up some broken memory, a feeling, thought about some other man and I will sin. Is it worth it? NO. I wont be one in a line of many girls that boys will have. NO. I wont be spending my emotions, feelings, memories, touches, dopamine rushes in brain cells on others. YES, I will be only his one day and I want no other. God has something greater for me that I cant even imagine. He knows my needs, he knows what I long for. He knows my past and he will make me new, whole. He wont give me enough, he will give me too much. He will give me a boy who will be proud of me and shove me around to his friends telling them:" she is the one, she is my loved girl". He will shove me kindness is small stuff like kissing my hand or forehead, or open the door for me, carry my bag, tell me something nice. You know, small, insignificant things that we do are the proof of who w really are inside. And I know if God is in me, and is in my future husband, each day will be filled with insignificant things that will mean a world to me. Gods love for me is too big to give me a failure of a relationship. If anything fails, it would be because of me for not listening to my God or not paying enough attention to Him.
Bible say if we seek we will find, if we knock the door will be open to us. If we get down on our knees and pray, he will provide. We just need to be clean and god-fearing, to ask his will and do the right thing. Sometimes God gives us what we ask for just to teach us something, but actually, when God says no it is not rejection, it is a redirection. We usually forget about it. Everyone, it is not about us, but about others, about something bigger.
Few days ago I was desperate and I blamed everyone for everything, thought I was all alone. My life I devoted for others, to serve them, help them, give them as much as I can. Everyone just used me out. I put serving and devotion even into my work and that showed as wrong thing to do. I hated me for having such a rough past. Last few days shoved me: it was all the part of his plan for me. He used my failure to bring me up and bring others up. I am so glad that I can give my friends some advice. All the pain I went trough is a strong rock for others to lean on and trust on to. Yes I was selfish for a while and did hurt others, but no, that is not who I am now and who I want to be. I am grater than that, greater than my failure. I am a warrior of Gods army, servant for others, loving and caring gal others can turn to. I am here for you and will do anything I can for you. The best thing in all of this: I will wait for the Lord and I will do my best to do His will for me.
You are greater, you are priceless, dont be copies when God made you as a original. Find your place and serve God the best you can. You are grater than this world can ever offer. YOU ARE GREATER.
Aug 31, 2011
Aug 1, 2011
Vrdnik - Stand up and take your place
As every summer, I try to go to some Christian camp. This year I was trying, and I couldn't find one. I remember of talking with my dear friend Jovana and her sending me a link - Youth camp in Vrdnik. The smile came on my face, but it disappeared soon, I knew that I could't afford it, even it isn't so expensive. I prayed, and few days later I knew I have to go there, whatever happens, I must be there. One day before the camp started I still didn't know how to get there because there is no bus or train going to Vrdnik. But I know, God provides, so He found a way to get me there.
So it happened, I was there on 25th july, with my close friends, meeting new ones. At first I wanted to go home, I felt like I don't belong there. My friend called me intruder, I was the only baptist there and only one from my hometown. But it wasn't important, when the 1st teaching started, I knew I had to be there.
The teacher on camp was Michael Knospe. Miroslav and Dragan Radovanovic also thought one night each. I will make a short summary of what made the most impact on me while I was listening them. The subject was "Stand up and take your place".
I came on camp with some problems and fears and the 1st thing that i heard was that I shall not fear. Many great people of God feared but God proved His majesty in their lives. Everyone knows the story of Moses, Gideon, Jonah... We have to stand up and take our place, God uses each of us in one personal way that can't be replaced, we have to be brave and walk with Him, doing His will. God writes history, and He wants to write new one with us, not others but us. He wants to use us for BIG purpose, and only we can fit into His huge puzzle of plans, noone can exchange us. No mater if we get to hard points, everyone does, but with FAITH w can do all things in God. We just have to want to fallow God no mater what. Mathew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."
We should not be same day after day, month after month, year after year. We have to grow and change, like child when it is born, it grows, learns. Jesus havent ruled the world, he was a servant to all, so as we have learn to be servants, 1st His servants later servants of anyone else around us. We have to learn to be humble, to listen and to do His will. Daily. Your life is not the most important thing on this life, don't be proud of it, but learn to put God in 1st place and seek Him each day of your life. If you don't fight, you will loose, so HAVE FAITH AND GO AND FIGHT, He will be with you and help you trough anything you are going through. You have to open your heart for love and forgiveness, you have to trust. When you rely on God there is no more fear in your life. Each day you have to practice and learn to be clean, disciplined, to give, to be strong, to not please your self and your body, you have to decide each day in each thing to fallow Gods will, learn to live with others, and to serve. If you are closer to God, you will know more about your fallen personality, you will understand your self more and control your self even more. You will know that you have seceded in it if you see Jesus in you when you look into your self.
There is nothing impossible to God, but he wants companionship with us. He doesn't make copys of humans, he makes each of us and original. He form us and changes us each day so we could be more and more as he wants us to be. You have to be careful what you do, not everything we want to do is what Gods wants us to do. He uses everyone, little, big, rich, poor, sick and healthy. He take everything that world rejects and make something glorious from it. WE have to do everything, each job, as God is our boss. If you feel like doing something, that will probably be wrong, but if you get callings from others to something, that will surely be from God. There is no such things as useless. If you feel rejected, that is a part when God wants to build you up for something greater. Be faithful in small things. No mater how long the preparation lasts, the service is important. Forget all the bad things in your life, your history and focus to the word of God and his love and will for you. Seek his presence, closeness in prayer daily. IF you feel like Satan is attacking you, great, he attacks only those who belong to God, he has others and there is no need to attack them. We are the only one who can help Satan and break Gods plan to us. if we go with Satan and not with God. It is impossible to be weak and fall into Satans hands if we live with God. Don't be indifferent about situations you are in, change things until you know you are doing the right thing. Don't worry about things you don't have to, god will provide, but care about the things you have, not to be pride on them and not to loose them. If you want to help and change others, you have to help your self first. You don't have to be clean so god could call you for a purpose but you have to be clean so you could serve him in that purpose. When God wants to use you, 1st thing that you will experience is that you are sinner. You will never know what the problem is like if you don't take courage and step out in front of it and face it. You will never experience the power and holiness until you don't seek it first. You will never be a winner if you don't battle first. Each emotion is important, but decisions change the world. You are in charge in your world. You are the one who decides what will you do with your time, money, eyes, ears... But not everything we choose is good to God. Sometimes we have to get a spiritual firewall. You have to beat us all your weaknesses, otherwise, they will not be weak points but strong, and you are stronger than your weak points. From little things start big failings and from insignificant people are made great people. Just have hunger towards living God, without any kind of compromise. You have to learn to take your life into your hands and give it to God, if you leave any little bit to Satan, you will loose your life sooner or later. Jesus doesnt live in building but only in our hearts. He doesnt expect to enter perfect clean heart, but he is here to fix it and make it clean for us if we open our heart and accept it. Holy Spirit is like diktafon, you can not cheat on him, he records everything. But if we work with him together, it is better for us. We have to let Jesus to be an architect of our heart, to build our house on Him so it could be everlasting.
I came to camp with problems and my heart was under the pressure. When the 1st service started i prayed that God brake me down and build me up again, to be the pot holy for him. I havent felt a thing. I cried hardly in prayer, closed in my self, and still nothing. Day by day I though that God doesnt hear me and He turned His face away from me. Vlada prayed for me one night. I cried again in prayer, still, nothing. I started to get mad at God a little. I prayed each morning long, been there before others, nothing. Thursday came, and on afternoon service I took courage and came out, Michael and Bora prayed for me. My stomach squeezed, I couldn't cry, I just felt big nothing. After it I run into my room and and started crying so hard, I was mad both on me and God. As i was calming down, I felt a little bit better. Still, that wasnt good enough for me. Friday morning came, THE PRAYER time that changed a lot of us. Leaders were praying for others to receive the Holy Spirit. I was standing aside, praying, crying, I wanted to feel anything again. Bora came silently from nowhere and started praying for me. I have barely hold my self on my feet, caching my breath. I felt something to hard pushing me down, I was shaking. I remember in one point that I coulnt hear a thing, my body blocked completely. I felt emptiness, I felt big nothing in me, silent, just my struggle to get some air. I remember hugging Bora and falling on my knees. As I was standing up, Rale said to open our Bible and read. Mine was in my room so I continued praying. Next thing i noticed is me repeating II Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. When i calmed down i felt so indifferent, but in one way so anxious. Sport came and I let all my feelings go away in it as I used back in days when I was playing. When it ended I was hyperactive :D And later on worship, I felt so blessed, happy, so filled up. God is amazing. It took 6 months to see that He forgave me and that he cares still and He is with me. There is nothing holding me back now. No more stones on my heart, no chains. I AM FREE to live for Him.
All the best to all my followers,
Dorotea
p.s.: Sorry for just putting in so many thoughts and not putting it into a story. It is a bit hard to do, there were 8 - 9 different teachings.
So it happened, I was there on 25th july, with my close friends, meeting new ones. At first I wanted to go home, I felt like I don't belong there. My friend called me intruder, I was the only baptist there and only one from my hometown. But it wasn't important, when the 1st teaching started, I knew I had to be there.
The teacher on camp was Michael Knospe. Miroslav and Dragan Radovanovic also thought one night each. I will make a short summary of what made the most impact on me while I was listening them. The subject was "Stand up and take your place".
I came on camp with some problems and fears and the 1st thing that i heard was that I shall not fear. Many great people of God feared but God proved His majesty in their lives. Everyone knows the story of Moses, Gideon, Jonah... We have to stand up and take our place, God uses each of us in one personal way that can't be replaced, we have to be brave and walk with Him, doing His will. God writes history, and He wants to write new one with us, not others but us. He wants to use us for BIG purpose, and only we can fit into His huge puzzle of plans, noone can exchange us. No mater if we get to hard points, everyone does, but with FAITH w can do all things in God. We just have to want to fallow God no mater what. Mathew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."
We should not be same day after day, month after month, year after year. We have to grow and change, like child when it is born, it grows, learns. Jesus havent ruled the world, he was a servant to all, so as we have learn to be servants, 1st His servants later servants of anyone else around us. We have to learn to be humble, to listen and to do His will. Daily. Your life is not the most important thing on this life, don't be proud of it, but learn to put God in 1st place and seek Him each day of your life. If you don't fight, you will loose, so HAVE FAITH AND GO AND FIGHT, He will be with you and help you trough anything you are going through. You have to open your heart for love and forgiveness, you have to trust. When you rely on God there is no more fear in your life. Each day you have to practice and learn to be clean, disciplined, to give, to be strong, to not please your self and your body, you have to decide each day in each thing to fallow Gods will, learn to live with others, and to serve. If you are closer to God, you will know more about your fallen personality, you will understand your self more and control your self even more. You will know that you have seceded in it if you see Jesus in you when you look into your self.
There is nothing impossible to God, but he wants companionship with us. He doesn't make copys of humans, he makes each of us and original. He form us and changes us each day so we could be more and more as he wants us to be. You have to be careful what you do, not everything we want to do is what Gods wants us to do. He uses everyone, little, big, rich, poor, sick and healthy. He take everything that world rejects and make something glorious from it. WE have to do everything, each job, as God is our boss. If you feel like doing something, that will probably be wrong, but if you get callings from others to something, that will surely be from God. There is no such things as useless. If you feel rejected, that is a part when God wants to build you up for something greater. Be faithful in small things. No mater how long the preparation lasts, the service is important. Forget all the bad things in your life, your history and focus to the word of God and his love and will for you. Seek his presence, closeness in prayer daily. IF you feel like Satan is attacking you, great, he attacks only those who belong to God, he has others and there is no need to attack them. We are the only one who can help Satan and break Gods plan to us. if we go with Satan and not with God. It is impossible to be weak and fall into Satans hands if we live with God. Don't be indifferent about situations you are in, change things until you know you are doing the right thing. Don't worry about things you don't have to, god will provide, but care about the things you have, not to be pride on them and not to loose them. If you want to help and change others, you have to help your self first. You don't have to be clean so god could call you for a purpose but you have to be clean so you could serve him in that purpose. When God wants to use you, 1st thing that you will experience is that you are sinner. You will never know what the problem is like if you don't take courage and step out in front of it and face it. You will never experience the power and holiness until you don't seek it first. You will never be a winner if you don't battle first. Each emotion is important, but decisions change the world. You are in charge in your world. You are the one who decides what will you do with your time, money, eyes, ears... But not everything we choose is good to God. Sometimes we have to get a spiritual firewall. You have to beat us all your weaknesses, otherwise, they will not be weak points but strong, and you are stronger than your weak points. From little things start big failings and from insignificant people are made great people. Just have hunger towards living God, without any kind of compromise. You have to learn to take your life into your hands and give it to God, if you leave any little bit to Satan, you will loose your life sooner or later. Jesus doesnt live in building but only in our hearts. He doesnt expect to enter perfect clean heart, but he is here to fix it and make it clean for us if we open our heart and accept it. Holy Spirit is like diktafon, you can not cheat on him, he records everything. But if we work with him together, it is better for us. We have to let Jesus to be an architect of our heart, to build our house on Him so it could be everlasting.
I came to camp with problems and my heart was under the pressure. When the 1st service started i prayed that God brake me down and build me up again, to be the pot holy for him. I havent felt a thing. I cried hardly in prayer, closed in my self, and still nothing. Day by day I though that God doesnt hear me and He turned His face away from me. Vlada prayed for me one night. I cried again in prayer, still, nothing. I started to get mad at God a little. I prayed each morning long, been there before others, nothing. Thursday came, and on afternoon service I took courage and came out, Michael and Bora prayed for me. My stomach squeezed, I couldn't cry, I just felt big nothing. After it I run into my room and and started crying so hard, I was mad both on me and God. As i was calming down, I felt a little bit better. Still, that wasnt good enough for me. Friday morning came, THE PRAYER time that changed a lot of us. Leaders were praying for others to receive the Holy Spirit. I was standing aside, praying, crying, I wanted to feel anything again. Bora came silently from nowhere and started praying for me. I have barely hold my self on my feet, caching my breath. I felt something to hard pushing me down, I was shaking. I remember in one point that I coulnt hear a thing, my body blocked completely. I felt emptiness, I felt big nothing in me, silent, just my struggle to get some air. I remember hugging Bora and falling on my knees. As I was standing up, Rale said to open our Bible and read. Mine was in my room so I continued praying. Next thing i noticed is me repeating II Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. When i calmed down i felt so indifferent, but in one way so anxious. Sport came and I let all my feelings go away in it as I used back in days when I was playing. When it ended I was hyperactive :D And later on worship, I felt so blessed, happy, so filled up. God is amazing. It took 6 months to see that He forgave me and that he cares still and He is with me. There is nothing holding me back now. No more stones on my heart, no chains. I AM FREE to live for Him.
All the best to all my followers,
Dorotea
p.s.: Sorry for just putting in so many thoughts and not putting it into a story. It is a bit hard to do, there were 8 - 9 different teachings.
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